For so long I have wondered if I really was saved. I had this fear that maybe it never actually happened, I was so young. I felt that way because I had never (that I recall) heard the Holy Spirit speak to me. People always talk about having a conversation with God...I thought - why doesn't He talk to me?
This morning He did. I was so elated! Laughing, crying, writing. (Mostly crying.) He told me Christ is that man. The one I want who loves me in spite of my past mistakes. Who will continue loving me no matter how many times I screw up.
I knew this, really. But it is like when someone tells you it snowed last night. (This is a big deal for me...in Arkansas.) You believe them, but you still have to see for yourself. And you can't just look out the window...you have to go walk in it, touch it, hit someone with a snowball before it all becomes real. This was like that.
It's funny, I've "known" all along I was saved years ago. I think this is just the first time I shut up long enough to listen. Do you ever try to sit and listen, and your brain won't shut off? Welcome to my life (up until today.) My longing for closeness to God was finally so strong my brain shut down long enough to listen to the Man who occupies my heart. Now to start opening doors in there so He can have the whole thing, not just a dusty box in a dark closet.
Thank God for His love, patience, and persistence. And mostly for His Son, who allowed Himself to be crucified on that cross for your sins and mine, so that you and I could live eternally with Him! Praise God!
Love you all!
J
2 comments:
You can really touch your Daddy's heart girlly. CLICK!!!
J,
I am so proud of you! I completely understand the longing to have God speak to you. I've exerienced it a couple of times and each time is overwhelming.
It's difficult to take/make time for quiet space with God, but when we do, He is ALWAYS waiting for us.
Do you know what happens when you move towards becoming the best You that GOd designed you to be? Read Psalms 92: 12-13.
"The righteous will _____?" You fill in the blank.
Remember that God doesn't want you to just live life. He wants you to have an abundant life! He has incredible plans for you. You're on the right track!
Love you,
Aunt Lisa
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